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Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder |  | Author: Gina Pera
Creator: Russell Barkley Ph.D
Publisher: 1201 Alarm Press
Category: Book
List Price: $21.95
Buy New: $14.57
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Seller: supermoviedeals
Rating:  69 reviews
Sales Rank: 1709
Media: Paperback
Edition: First
Pages: 384
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 6 x 1.1
ISBN: 0981548709
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8589
EAN: 9780981548708
ASIN: 0981548709
Publication Date: August 31, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Winner of four national book awards, including Foreword Magazine's Psychology Book of the Year!
The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult AD/HD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. And that includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard -- sometimes despite many attempts at couples therapy. Everyone knows someone with adult AD/HD. Yet we misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, or moodiness. Moreover, we assume AD/HD means "little boys with ants in their pants." In fact, childhood hyperactivity goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state. (By the way, the former, and still better-known, official term is ADD, plus or minus Hyperactivity. The new term, AD/HD, uses a slash mark to indicate that hyperactivity is not central to the diagnosis.) Meticulously researched by award-winning journalist Gina Pera, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? is a comprehensive guide to recognizing the behaviors where you least expect them (on the road and in the bedroom, for example) and developing compassion for couples wrestling with unrecognized ADHD symptoms. It also offers the latest information from top experts, plenty of real-life details, and easy-to-understand guidelines for finding the best treatment options and practical solutions. The revolutionary message is one of hope for millions of people--and a joyous opportunity for a better life.
Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life.
--Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life ... contains information that is just not available anywhere else. This book is sure to become the authoritative guide for couples dealing with ADD.
--Patricia O. Quinn, M.D., Director, The National Center for Girls and Women with ADHD ...We expect this book will be the bible for all of us dealing with adult ADD.
-- Elizabeth Weathers and Diane Hartson, moderators, ADD Spouse support group ... I can safely predict it will become as much an 'industry standard' as Driven to Distraction.
--David Edelberg, M.D., Medical Director, WholeHealth Chicago ... The book is well researched, reader friendly, and includes insights and perspectives from a Who's Who of professionals. For couples struggling with ADHD, it's the season's new must-have book and bound to become a classic.
--Michele Novotni, Ph.D. Psychologist, Coach Confirmatory brain neuroscience answers this speculation about Adult ADHD: It s a real problem with real and painful challenges, not a belief system.
-- Charles Parker, DO, Medical Director, CorePsych, author of Deep Recovery ... Gina Pera has combined a real feel for the disorder with sound reporting skills and the spice of those who tell the story best: the couples themselves.
-- Margaret D. Weiss, M.D., Ph.D., Head, Provincial ADHD Program, British Columbia, Canada ... Gina Pera has been there and has authored a guide that offers understanding for the confused, practical strategies for the frustrated, and hope for the despondent. This book will be a lifesaver for both partners.
-- Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., M.B.A., author of Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 69
 The "Our Bodies, Ourselves" for Adults w/ADD October 23, 2008
Natalie Knochenhauer (Philadelphia, PA)
53 out of 61 found this review helpful
I recalled the shock of recognition and thrill of a first encounter with the unadulterated truth that I had when I read "Our Bodies, Ourselves" as a thirteen year old girl, as I read "Is it You, Me or Adult ADD? by Gina Pera.
As a 43 year old women with ADD who was married to a man with untreated ADD, the book rang so true and touched upon so many of our struggles that it was, at times, disorienting to read them detailed in the pages of a book written by an author who did not know my story. Often, I could only read a few pages before needing to take a break and let the enormity of the suffering and needless pain that ADHD causes in adult relationships to sink in.
For too many of us, the real tragedy comes from having seen expert couple therapists for years desperately trying to make our relationships work, while the good will, intimacy and benefit of the doubt was drained out of the marriage as each new round of therapy failed, all the while, never being offered the information provided in this book that could have put us on the path to understanding.
Gina Pera lays out the necessary truth about the impact of adult ADD on relationships and provides a framework to view the issues not as insurmountable, but rather as typical for our population and, in fact, manageable with the right treatment for ADD.
I urge all couples with children who have AD/HD to read this book. Because research tells us that this disorder is genetic, you and your partner may be affected by AD/HD without knowing it and your relationship may be needlessly imperiled. You may save your marriage by discovering how ADD plays itself out in relationships and learning how to address those issues in your own home.
This book provides clear descriptions of the classic dynamics that often underlie the interactions of adults with AD/HD and concrete strategies to preserve the respect and love that you have for your partner while working to make the relationship fulfilling for both of you.
I am in awe of Gina Pera's writing and her ability to harness what looks and sometimes felt like unrelated, distressing events into a cogent, comprehensive portrait that depicts in a devastatingly accurate fashion what life and love feels like being married to an adult with ADHD.
Thanks to this book, we, adults with ADD, can understand the emotional consequences of our behavior, accept responsibility for it and work to empathize with and advocate for our children, spouses and, most importantly, ourselves with a clear mind and full heart.
FINALLY, a book written for the non-ADHD partner October 22, 2008
Penetralia
37 out of 42 found this review helpful
Thank you Gina Pera!
Finally, a book written for non-ADHD partners. The author spent 8 years researching ADHD, and this text is clearly a masterpiece of her great efforts. The book is filled with examples, tips, and resources like no other book offers to date.
Most books on the market are written for a person with ADHD, and not chiefly for partners thereof. Perhaps there should be more support groups available, such as, ADD/ADHD Anonymous. Dr. Schwartz offers good help online at mentalhelp.net; however, there are limits. In fact, this is where the author was found [on Dr.Schwartz's article/comment page].
The book was received today, and there was so much to read AND highlight. The text offers a great "peace of mind," helps one realize the truth, without blaming one's self, and helps to comprehend the complexity of ADHD symptoms. Readers are reminded not to blame the person, but rather to understand or manage the "symptom," as Dr.Amen suggests.
There are stories from lives of others that clarify multiple topics, which also projects what non-ADHD partners are facing because others, including friends or family, may rarely understand. The best part is the included "Tip Sheets" to help manage, cope, and/or not take the termed ADHD-bait.
If your partner has ADD/ADHD, whether it is diagnosed or not, this text is highly recommended. As one reviewer noted, "Sure to become the authoritative guide..." Also, as reflected by the diagnosis, some ADHD'ers exhibit strong symptoms of denial, including remorse or blame when others [or their partner] attempts to discuss the illness.
Warning: Anger, and other unnecessary conflicts may occur as a result of having this text or others present. Therefore, if you have been a heavy sufferer, it may be best to put a book cover on this, and keep it to yourself while reading and learning more. Remember that AWARENESS alone can change everything. This book gives you the insight and wisdom to see what you may not have realized, and helps sufferers not to *react* to symptoms, but to recognize them, while offering solutions.
Those with the diagnosis may also benefit from this book if they are able to read with an open mind. Often, it can be difficult for anyone to [look in the mirror and] understand how they are affecting those around them. Indeed, this book is an excellent first step for those whom may or may not be diagnosed. It will offer unique insights into that which may be unconsidered. Finally, the roller coaster can be stopped and parked forever.
In closing, we wish the very best to everyone, and send a very special thanks to the author.
Help for all the partners of people with ADD! September 8, 2008
Kerch McConlogue (Baltimore, MD)
29 out of 34 found this review helpful
This book will do for partners of people with ADHD what "Driven to Distraction" did for people who themselves have ADHD. It's easy to read and has enough medical and scientific information to explain what needs to be explained but not so much to bore the reader. You can go straight through the chapters in order or take advantage of the chapter to chapter references and pick up what you're looking for in the order that works best for you. I love this book! I'll be sharing the info with my clients and their spouses... and especially with the people who call and want me to "fix" their other.
Gina Pera's Roller Coaster - An ADDer Review September 11, 2008
Bryan L. Hutchinson
23 out of 28 found this review helpful
I have been anticipating reading Gina's book for some time. She is a marvelous woman who truly cares about people with ADHD and the people who are related to us.
I knew her book would be good, but I had no idea what I would be getting into by reading through it. Much of it was like reading via a mirror into my soul and if you know Gina, she doesn't mince words or try to be overly diplomatic (like some people I know = me).
Before I started read Gina's book I joked with her about how thick it is, but I tell you what, once I opened it, I could not stop reading it. I am really tired at this point because I have not been able to fully sleep until I finished it and I know I will have to reread several parts.
Gina has written a book for the ages and I have never read any book as thorough, evaluating all the aspects of adult ADD/ADHD. She explains not only the common symptoms, but also the symptoms that show up in smaller groups of people with ADD. She tells us of how to train our brains and why. I really liked how she broke down each individual symptom and gives us rational easy to understand explanations for getting through and working through them. You finish reading this book and realize the truth and that truth is that you are not doomed, but you will be doomed if you don't do something about it for yourself and your partner. She sees relationships as teams, both individuals having equal rolls to play while still remaining individuals with dreams, goals and desires.
For me, the most important part of this book is about seeking out the right therapist - how and why. I found this to be the most important part because therapy is what has helped me the most to overcome the past and learn copings skills for a better future. I really can't wait to start working many of these strategies into my life.
Gina, thank you so much for the gift of this book, it will be my most treasured companion (next to Joan) for a long time to come, you were right, it truly is a `one stop shop for information on adult ADHD', but let me add that this book should not simply be considered for those who are in a relationship already. Even if you are single and seeking a companion, "Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?" is a must and will save you so much unnecessary heartache in the future and will help you with your daily life already. Trust me!
Bryan Hutchinson
Author of:
One Boy's Struggle: A Memoir: Surviving Life Undiagnosed ADD
Probably the best ADHD book I've read January 10, 2009
Widely Read
19 out of 23 found this review helpful
The title of my review probably sounds like hype but it's not. I've read 20+ ADHD books (Hallowell, Ratey, Amen et al) and "Is it you me or adult ADD" is the most practical and "real world" of them all.
It's the best balance of real-world anecdotes, situations, issues that ADHD'ers (and those who know ADHD'ers) face, science, and practical solutions, as well as many insights into ADHD that I've seen no where else.
Even though I have ADHD, have read so many books about it, and even regularly attend an ADHD support group, I had at least a half dozen "ah-ha" moments within the first few chapters. I learned about things that I had no idea were related to ADHD. It was really an eye-opener and has helped me live that much better now that I understand why and how it's related to my ADHD.
To me the book is also very practical and real world. It tells it like it is with no sugar coating--both the good and the bad. There's a trend in some ADHD circles to try to paint ADHD as a "gift". Take it from me, having ADHD sucks, it's not a gift. Of course we want to be rid of the stigmas and discrimination (both by people and by the insurance industry) but trying to spin ADHD as a gift just goes too far into la-la-land in my opinion. This book doesn't do that. It talks about what ADHD is, how it effects those who have it, and those who have to deal with those who have it. As I said, very real world, practical, and helpful.
Denial is one major thing this book talks about that I don't recall reading about before. Yes, many of us with ADHD deny we have it, or even if we admit we have it, we think we're doing fine without treatment. These are both unfortunate situations which can have bad if not dire consequences. (Witness the higher accident rates, drug abuse and crime rates of those with *UNTREATED* ADHD.) Amazingly enough, when you treat ADHD these things largely go away and life improves for everyone involved. Getting through the denial may be a major stumbling block though, and this book addresses dealing with that.
I can't say enough good things about this book. If you have ADHD read this book. If you are in a relationship with someone with ADHD read this book. If you're related to someone with ADHD read this book. If you know someone with ADHD read this book and get them a copy.
If you know someone who's life seems like a complete mess, is constantly late, is always losing things, seems distracted or day-dreamy, often says inappropriate things, may be moody or angry a lot, can't seem to stick to something to completion, it's likely that this person has ADHD.
Get them this book or read it yourself and see if maybe you can help them face and deal with their ADHD. You may, in no exaggerated terms, save their life.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 69
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